Happy Tree Friends: The Interview Tapes
by blind2d
Summary: Some unknown person gets the thoughts from the cast of infamous cartoon "Happy Tree Friends" on a tape recording. There are two parts.   I was lucky enough to find this tape, and I have here written it out for your reading pleasure.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: All Happy Tree Friends characters are property of Mondo Media and its affiliates. They are not mine in any sense.

**Happy Tree Friends: The Interview Tapes, Part One**

Unknown scientist/researcher: We will now begin an in-depth look at the residents of Treeville, USA and stars of the infamous web series 'Happy Tree Friends'. This private scholar of the animated world, myself, will ask a few key questions to each member of the HTF cast and gain new insight to the way they are off-camera. In this small, dimly lit room I have set up a table and two chairs. One is for myself, the other for my guests. I have arranged to do this alphabetically, so my first guest will be Cro-Marmot. Say hello to the tape recorder, Mr. Marmot.

Cro-Marmot: …

Unknown Person: Right. I forgot you can't speak through your icy shell. Okay then, moving on to… Cub. Tell us a little about yourself.

Cub: Gbaaa *farting sound* hee hee!

UP: Oh… yes… you're a little too young to talk, huh? Never mind. Sorry kid. Next, everyone's favorite good-times rabbit, Cuddles! Welcome to the session.

Cd: Hi. Thanks for having me.

UP: Now Cuddles, I've gotten requests and questions from fans of the show about you, and now seems like the right time to ask them. Firstly, how did you get your name?

Cd: What? Well, I guess I was born with it. How'd _you_ get _your_ name?

UP: Right, moving on, do you always wear those bunny slippers?

Cd: Yep! They're lucky!

UP: Well, I'd imagine so! Being rabbits' feet, and all…

Cd: What? They're rabbits! Not just the feet! I got them for my tenth birthday, and haven't changed my footwear since! They're actually surprisingly grippy.

UP: Next question: Is it true you and Giggles are something of an item?

Cd: Wow, asking the hard questions there, aren'tcha? Sure it's true. In fact, we're engaged right now. Those are all the details I'll say on that subject.

UP: Fine. Now, what about your red cheeks?

Cd: What _about_ my red cheeks?

UP: Well… were you born like that?

Cd: Yes.

UP: It is said you're the "brave" one. What is your response?

Cd: It's true! Everyone else is either too scared or stupid to do cool stuff… well, except for my best friend Toothy. He and I are really good friends, even off the set!

UP: That's nice. So what horrible, mean-spirited gossip can you share with me about your fellow cast members?

Cd: Um… I don't really… want to do that…

UP: Okay, thank you for your time, Mr…

Cd: It's 'Cuddles'.

UP: Mr. Cuddles. Next!

(_in the distance_: Resistance is futile!)

Disco Bear: Oh yeeeaaah! (points in a disco-style at people who aren't there, then sits with feet on table and hands behind head)

UP: So what's shakin', Disco Bear?

DB: Me! Ha ha… I need to lose weight…

UP: Yes, that seems to be true. Now what of these rumors that you are in fact… a homosexual?

DB: Outlandish! I mean, just look at all the ladies lined up to party with me!

UP: I think you're deluding yourself, Mr. Bear. Moving on, why the fascination with disco culture?

DB: Simple. Disco was the breaking point. The place in time when partying was king, and everyone looked good. Sadly those days are no more, but I'm keeping the dream alive, brother!

UP: Word! Now, the 'fro…

DB: I know, isn't it perfect? (sound of hair fluffing)

UP: Um, yes. Now how about some deep insights; some glimpses of character that you want to share with the world. Something apart from disco, if you please.

DB: Well… uh… you mean… disco isn't enough for you?

UP: No.

DB: Hmm… I collect vinyl.

UP: Okay, I think we're done here. Thank you Mr. Bear.

DB: Peace out!

UP: Next we have… Flaky!

Flaky: (hesitating) Uh… h-hi…

UP: So Flaky… can I call you Flaky?

Fl: Well, it's my name, so…

UP: Great! Well Flaky, it's so good that you could join us today. Now the fans want to know… it _is_ dandruff in your pins, isn't it?

Fl: Y-yes… what else would it be?

UP: I don't know. Some person suggested once that it might be broken glass.

Fl: That's just silly.

UP: So you're the 'shy' one, right? Are you the same off-set?

Fl: Oh, not really. It's mostly just my character. I'm really very friendly!

UP: What about your cowardice?

Fl: Oh… yeah, that's exaggerated a bit in the show. Like, I wouldn't freak if some baby chicks were clucking at me! That's ridiculous…

UP: Okay… any love interests?

Fl: That's none of your business…

UP: Aha! You're blushing!

Fl: Shut up!

UP: Okaaaay… so straighten this out for me; are you a hedgehog, or a porcupine, or what?

Fl: Porcupine. And I'm a natural red-head.

UP: Thank you Miss Flaky. Could you bring in the next guest, please?

Fl: Okay… bye…

Flippy: What's all this about?

UP: Greetings, Flippy. This here's an interview… you didn't get the memo?

Fp: Interview? I thought it was… forget it. Fine. What insipid, shallow queries will you give me?

UP: My, we seem grumpy today! Just a few questions, Mr. Flippy. It will hardly take any of your time. To begin, tell me what it was like to act with the cast of HTF.

Fp: Well, it's always great to work with those guys. They've all got wonderful senses of humor, and we get along really well. There have been a couple of times when I'd be in my "blood-crazy" mode, as I call it, and some of the actors would actually be scared of me, but we reconciled.

UP: Yes, I'd been meaning to ask you about your "flipping out".

Fp: As an actor, I've never been in the military or seen combat, so I watched a lot of old war movies to get inspired. I've done a lot of off-broadway stage shows before joining the cast, so I probably have the most acting experience out of everyone, not to toot my own horn.

UP: Good to know. So your Jekyll/Hyde transformation, then… purely a ruse?

Fp: If by 'ruse' you mean 'damn good acting', yes. I personally have no mental disorders or handicaps. It sure is a lot of fun to play my character that way, however!

UP: Great. One last question. Do you have any relationships with the cast? Anything romantic?

Fp: No. But like I said, we're all good friends off-camera.

UP: Thank you sir. I trust you can find the exit. If you would be so kind, please allow the next guest entry.

(Chair scrapes on floor and door opens and closes)

UP: Welcome, Miss Giggles. Please, have a seat.

Giggles: Why thank you, Mr…?

UP: My name is not important.

G: Okay then, Mr. Not Important. (Giggles laughs to herself)

UP: Very funny. Now Miss Giggles, I have a few questions here… to start, what is the significance of your bow, and did you steal it from the Sanrio Empress?

G: My bow's been a trademark of mine ever since my fifth birthday, and… wait, who?

UP: Hello Kitty.

G: Oh _no_! I would _never_ steal from her! She's my biggest inspiration! In fact, the reason I still wear the bow, apart from that I love it and it brings out my eyes, is that it's sort of an _homage_ to Miss Kitty! She's really my idol.

UP: Excellent. Now Miss Giggles, you are a chipmunk, correct?

G: Yep.

UP: Do you ever hang out with Alvin or Chip and Dale?

G: Those old fogies? Forget it.

UP: While we're on the subject… what is the relationship between you and Cuddles?

G: Yeah, I know… he's my boyfriend… we've been steady for quite a while now…

UP: Any marriage plans?

G: Not yet, but… there's plenty of time.

UP: Yes, indeed. Thank you, Miss Giggles. Please let Handy in as you leave.

G: Okay.

Handy: Thanks, Giggles.

UP: No hands, huh? That must suck.

H: You have no idea. But it is nice that a handi-capable cartoon like myself can find work, especially in today's environment. You know how many places turned me down on account of my missing limbs?

UP: But don't you feel degraded or exploited at all?

H: Sure, but I love to act, so it's all right. Balances out in the end, you know? Plus the money's good.

UP: So you're the 'Mr. Fix-It' of the show. Do you feel that this was good type-casting?

H: Definitely. I even actually helped build some of the sets used in the show! Yep, I'm not the world's best actor, but I'm good at what I know, and what I know is manual labor.

UP: Let's talk about your trademark scowl.

H: Sometimes it's real! (chuckles) Some of the things the scriptwriters make me do… I don't know _what_ those guys smoke! It's all in good fun, though. Really, I'm not hurt.

UP: That's good. So this is a good one; is Toothy in any way related to you?

H: Ah, that old chestnut. Nope, though I suppose there is that possibility, what with us both being beavers.

UP: Yeah… last question; how do you do things that most people use their hands for?

H: On the show, I either use my teeth, feet, or head. When I accomplish things as the camera cuts away, someone from the crew rushes over and does it for me. Off the set, it's pretty much the same story.

UP: I see. Thank you for being so cooperative, Mr. Handy. Send in the next one, if you don't mind.

Lammy: Wow, it's dark in here…

UP: Welcome to the interview Miss Lammy. Please, make yourself comfortable.

Lm: Okay…

UP: Have you taken your meds today?

Lm: What? Oh, right. Jerk. I'm not really a schizo, you know!

UP: Sorry, sorry! Okay, so you're the 'newbie'. What's that like?

Lm: It's great! Everyone on the set is so friendly and funny. (laughs) There was this one time when Splendid- (laughs harder)

UP: Okay… good. Now, was your character in any way inspired by Sherry Lewis' Lamb Chop?

Lm: I don't know… maybe? You'd have to ask the writers. I think I see where you could think that, though.

UP: Yes… now tell us about Mr. Pickels, if you would.

Lm: As you know, there's a little controversy there. Like, is he real, or is it just in my head? To be honest, I'm not sure myself! You'd, again, have to ask the writers. I think he's really cute.

UP: Yes, he is. Now I'd like your thoughts on Truffles.

Lm: Who? Oh! That guy who I was running against! Yeah, he really wasn't cute enough, was he? Plus, the show needed more female characters, anyway. We're still friends, even though he didn't make the cut. If you watch my episode, you can see him behind a tree at one point, I think.

UP: That's cool. Any last words?

Lm: Um… you're not gonna kill me, are you?

UP: Nope. Time's almost up, that's all.

Lm: Okay then. I'd like to thank my mom who always supported my acting career, and all my friends along the way! I love you all!

UP: Thank you. Please leave the same way you came in.

(Chair squeaks)

UP: Next we have… Lifty!

Lifty: Uh… hi.

UP: Sorry we had to split you and your brother up.

Lf: Yeah…

UP: Let's get down to business. First question; why the stealing?

Lf: Huh? Well someone's gotta do it! Am I right? But really, I didn't write the script, I'm just an actor.

UP: Are you and Shifty real-life brothers?

Lf: Hell yeah! Can't you tell?

UP: Okay, sure. Why don't _you_ have a hat?

Lf: I don't like hats. What, you got a problem with that?

UP: No no! It's fine. So then, in real life you're not a criminal?

Lf: No! If I were, I wouldn't have to do this show for money!

UP: So you don't like the show?

Lf: No, I love it! Usually…

UP: Usually?

Lf: Sometimes it really hurts! But y'know, could be worse… Hey, can I go now?

UP: Sure. Just let Lumpy in, would'ya? Thanks.

Lumpy: Uh… heh heh, hello!

UP: Hello, Mr. Lumpy. You're a popular character. Some call you the 'lovable dunderhead'. How do you respond to that?

Lp: I don't know about that… I suppose my character _is_ on the doofy side, but off the set I'm of pretty average intelligence.

UP: Interesting… And your antlers; are they really crooked?

Lp: Yes, I had an accident as a child. Luckily all my other injuries were treated better. If you're going to ask about my eyes, no, they're contact-thingies. I'm not really cross-eyed.

UP: I see. That was to be my next question, yes. Moving on… how does it feel to tower over the other cast members?

Lp: Tower? Well, I guess I'm a little tall…

UP: Sir, you're a moose.

Lp: Yes… that I am…

UP: Changing the subject, do you ever feel degraded by your role?

Lp: Nope! I have a lot of fun with the character! Sometimes I crack _myself_ up, you know. Like when I say 'oh well'!

UP: Ahh, that's one of my favorites. Finally, any gossip about others in the cast?

Lp: Let's see… hey, wouldn't that be _mean_?

UP: Depends on how you look at it.

Lp: I think I'll pass.

UP: Quite insightful, Mr. Lumpy. Thank you for your time. Next!

Mime: …

UP: Oh right… you're a mime…

Mm: Just kidding! I can talk!

UP: Wow! That's quite surprising!

Mm: Not really… I mean, I'm just an actor.

UP: So you're not a mime off-camera?

Mm: Heavens no! But they got a great coach for me, and I'm really convincing on the show.

UP: So you like your character?

Mm: Yep! It's a whole mess of fun!

UP: Great! It's kinda too bad that your character doesn't get more respect in the show, don't you think?

Mm: I wouldn't say that. I can entertain the children with all my goofy antics! Cub definitely appreciates me.

UP: Very true, and so does the audience at home, I'm sure. I know _I _do! Now, in one of the episodes you are seen in your 'home' interacting with various invisible objects. Comments on that?

Mm: Oh yeah! Boy, that took so much practice! I think we had a two-day shooting schedule on that one, and the first day was just getting that one scene! It was hard work, but an amazing result.

UP: Indeed! So to wrap up, any relationships with the other characters?

Mm: Me and Russel get along really well. I don't talk to the others that much, but everyone's super nice and friendly. Hey, what am I doing?

UP: You're… carving an invisible turkey?

Mm: Close! It's a pumpkin!

UP: Nice. Thank you very much for your time, Mr. Mime.

Mm: Hey, that's a Pokemon! Just call me 'Mime'.

UP: Okay, Mime. Please help Mole find his seat… ah, thank you.

Mole: Hello.

UP: Hello, Mr. Mole.

Ml: That's 'THE Mole', to you, son.

UP: Excuse me. Now… you're actually blind, correct?

Ml: Indeed I am. However the show may make light of this, it is part of who I am personally.

UP: I see… and that must be pretty hard to live with.

Ml: One gets used to these sorts of things. Blind from birth is a bit easier than another way, I understand.

UP: Okay. Now I have a few questions here… firstly, you're a mole… with a mole… comments?

Ml: I didn't write any of the scripts, so you'll need to talk to _those_ people. I'm just an actor.

UP: So does blindness run in your family?

Ml: Of course! We _are_ moles after all, dear boy.

UP: Right. Now, that one 'special' episode you did with the rat in the city… did you do all your own stunts?

Ml: Yes. I always do the stunts myself. I really enjoy the adrenaline rush, but at times it does take a while to get the scene right.

UP: Okay. So you enjoy the show. Are there any episodes that have a special place in The Mole's heart?

Ml: The one in the city you mentioned happens to be my personal favorite.

UP: Great! Last question; do you have any relationships, romantic or otherwise, with any of the other cast members?

Ml: No romantic relationships… let's see… no one sticks out in my mind right now. Suffice it to say that I'm friends with all the cast.

UP: Thank you, Mr. Mole. Er, The Mole. Have a nice night. Um… the door's on your left there… you've got it. Next!

Mr. Pickels: …

UP: What? That's just a pickle on a plate! Why would I want to interview…? Wait, where'd it go? It was just there a second ago, I could've sworn… hmm… huh? (gagging noises mixed with cries for help)

**End of Part One**


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: All Happy Tree Friends characters are property of Mondo Media and its affiliates. They are not mine in any sense.

**Happy Tree Friends: The Interview Tapes, Part Two**

Unknown Busybody: After a hellish ordeal with that pimpled cucumber, I have recovered from my injuries and am returning to interviewing the lovable characters from the hit show Happy Tree Friends. This begins part two of the series.

Unknown Person: Send in the squirrel.

Nutty: (maniacal laughter, mixed in with variations of 'oooh!')

UP: Okaaaay… could you please try to calm down, Mr. Nutty?

N: Ha! Fooled you!

UP: Whoa! What?

N: I'm not really crazy! I just play one on TV! (giggles)

UP: Well you do seem energetic, though.

N: Oh sure, but I'm not even a sugar-fiend like my character on the show.

UP: Really?

N: Really! I mean sure I like sweets, but not as much as is portrayed. If you notice, I don't have any candy stuck to my fur right now.

UP: Ah yes, you're right. So off camera…?

N: Yep! This is the real me!

UP: Wow. I notice your eyes look the same.

N: Yeah… I was born this way. I think it's where the inspiration for my character came from.

UP: I see… so… do you have any romantic relationships with other cast members?

N: Blunt, aren't you? No… sorry. But we are good friends.

UP: Okay. Last question; how does your character prevent cavities or diabetes?

N: Have you seen the one where I got to the dentist? As for diabetes… ask the writers. Are we done now?

UP: Yes sir, you may leave the way you entered. Welcome Miss Petunia!

Petunia: Hi there! I'm a Sagittarius, I like long walks on the beach, and my favorite flower is my namesake!

UP: I'm sorry, but it's not that kind of interview…

Pt: Oh… okay.

UP: Don't be sad! This interview will be fun! My first question; you and Giggles are good friends, right?

Pt: Yep! On and off camera!

UP: That must be nice.

Pt: Oh it is! Giggles is just so cute! And she always showers!

UP: Ah yes, cleanliness is your number one priority, isn't it?

Pt: That's right! Close to godliness, and all that. I'm not any one religion, by the way.

UP: Ah ha. So anyway, your OCD is famous from the show. Are you the same at home?

Pt: Yes, but not quite as exaggerated. Appearances are very important to me, and so is hygiene. That reminds me! My turn-offs include smelly armpits, muddy boots, and facial hair.

UP: Um… okay… speaking of… whatever… are you involved romantically with any of the cast members?

Pt: Not anymore. But we're all still friends, so it's okay.

UP: That's all you'll say, huh?

Pt: Yep!

UP: Okay, you can go now. Thanks for your time. Next we have… Pop! This should be interesting…

Pop: Good morning! Hey, what is this place?

UP: Greetings, Pop. This is the interview room. First question; your full name is Pop Bear, correct?

Pop: No, it's just 'Pop'.

UP: Really?

Pop: Yes, but I _am_ a bear.

UP: Huh. Interesting. Next; are you really a pipe smoker off the set?

Pop: I sure am. It relaxes me, and I feel sophisticated. Unfortunately, I'm the only pipe enthusiast in my neighborhood. But that's okay, because I can connect with people in other ways.

UP: Sure. So you're a father on the show… same off camera?

Pop: Why yes, Cub is in fact my actual son. Since he's too young for the stunts that the show uses, my darling boy is usually replaced by a dummy replica, then cleaned up in the editing bay by Computers. This is what the director told me, at any rate.

UP: Fascinating. Last question; how do your son's misadventures affect you after the shoots are over?

Pop: Oh, I know it's all just TV, if that's what you're asking. Does it change my parenting style at home? No, not really. I'm just a normal dad.

UP: Great! Thanks very much for your time, Mr. Pop. Next, Russel!

Russel: Yarr! Good morning, Mr…?

UP: I can't tell you who I am, sorry.

R: _Yarr…_

UP: So Russel, are you really a pirate? I mean, off the set of HTF?

R: Ya-harr! Well… not really. But I am a fisherman. I was actually kidnapped off of my small boat one day by some friends and taken to this audition-thing. They thought I fit the bill as a pirate, and since the people seemed decent and the money was good, I took the job. Little did I know how much insanity was about to ensue…

UP: Yes… so then, the eye patch and wooden legs… necessary?

R: Nope! It's amazing the tricks the costume department can pull off these days!

UP: And the hook?

R: Also a prop.

UP: I see. How does it feel being the only sea otter in the cast?

R: I don't have a problem with it. To be honest, I don't really hang out with my fellow cast members much when we're not filming. Not that we don't get along, because we do!

UP: Excellent. Thank you Mr. Russel, for your cooperation. Next!

Shifty: Hey there…

UP: Welcome, Shifty. Tell us a bit about yourself.

Sh: Um, I like Fedoras, and… I'm very close with my brother… what's this interview about?

UP: Well really it's about your work on the show HTF.

Sh: Right. Well, first I'll point out that my brother and me aren't thieves off set. Also, I do wear this hat all the time.

UP: Great! Well that's two of my questions down… and only two to go! Tell me, Mr. Shifty, what are the relationships like between you and the other cast members?

Sh: We get along. I don't really hang out with anybody more than anyone else, except my brother. You know Lifty and I really are related, right?

UP: Yes. Last question; are you presently or have you been in any romantic relationships with any fellow cast members?

Sh: No comment. I'm out. (sound of chair scraping)

UP: Er, right then… moving on. Sniffles! Welcome to the interview!

Sniffles: Salutations.

UP: For your first question; people seem to think of you as a "brain"… your comments on this, please.

Sn: Yeah, my character is definitely meant to be that way… which is a good fit for me, because it's in line with my personality off set!

UP: Oh, so you really _are _a nerd, then?

Sn: You bet! However, I'm more of a computer geek than I am a science nerd. I've never invented anything personally, but my character does all the time! I think this show has some of the best writing in recent history.

UP: Yes… okay… so what's with the ants?

Sn: Everybody wants to know about that! Geez… you know, I'm really sick of those guys. I mean, it's not like I eat ants or any bugs at home. Honestly, you'd have to ask the director. It was all his idea.

UP: Typecasting, huh? That seems to be a trend in HTF.

Sn: I guess. Everyone _is_ very good at their assigned roles… Whoever cast the show really knew what they were doing.

UP: So tell me. How do you get along with the others on set, Mr. Sniffles?

Sn: Superb! There's great chemistry between everyone, and we always have a good time. I have my own friends in Chess Club and things outside of it, but yes, we all get along really well.

UP: So you play chess?

Sn: Most certainly.

UP: Good. So how do the stunts make you feel?

Sn: To be honest, at first I had nightmares… like you wouldn't believe… But now I'm adjusted. Sometimes I can even laugh at myself and enjoy the simulated abuse!

UP: That's a relief, I'm sure. So… any HTF romance for the token brainiac?

Sn: No… (sigh)

UP: All right, take a cookie on your way out. Next!

Splendid: Duh-duh-duh-Dah! (Heroic theme)

UP: Welcome, Mr. Splendid!

Sp: Please… it's 'Splendid'.

UP: All righty. So you're a super… hero, eh? That must be interesting.

Sp: Indeed, you are correct! But it's not easy, protecting Treeville USA from danger! As you may know, various hazards and obstacles occur in everyday life, and the cameras only serve to exacerbate things! Me and my amazing abilities are constantly in need, continuously put to the test!

UP: Inspiring! But, um… 'the cameras'?

Sp: Of course! Sometimes men with cameras appear and things… horrible things… take place! It is then my duty to rid the world of evil!

UP: Wow. You know it's just a show, right?

Sp: Poppycock! My identity is that of Treeville's one and only savior! My mission is clear!

UP: _Riiiiiight_… so, your Kryptonite is…?

Sp: An acorn! Where on Earth did they ever _find_ such a horrible mineral?

UP: _Must_ you shout?

Sp: My apologies, citizen!

UP: Any Lois Lane's for you then, Splendid?

Sp: Sadly, no, but there have been a few hopefuls.

UP: Okay. How do you get along with… er, the 'residents of Treeville'?

Sp: Being their hope and aspiration, I feel that the citizens of Treeville and I have an excellent repertoire.

UP: Right… What about these allegations that you, in fact, _cause_ more destruction than you _prevent_?

Sp: Hogs wallop! I save the day! Such notions are ridiculous, and purely fictitious!

UP: Okay…. Last question; can you really fly?

Sp: Ha ha ha ha! (Heroic laughter) Of course! I'm a flying squirrel! But I'm also… not of this world!

UP: Amazing. (Irritated tone) That's all Splendid.

Sp: Isn't it? (Interjecting)

UP: Ha ha. (Annoyed) Good day, sir. Next!

Sp: Splendid away! (sound of roof shattering from Splendid's impact)

Toothy: Um, what happened?

UP: Splendid just left. Have a seat, Toothy.

T: Thank you. Um, what is this, again?

UP: Just an interview with the cast of HTF. Are you ready?

T: I guess so…

UP: Great! First question; how in the world did they make your eye stem so long?

T: Huh? Oh! The one with the… yeah… I still have some bad dreams… I don't know.

UP: Okay. Your front teeth have been called split. What say you?

T: Uh, that's accurate.

UP: What's it like?

T: Sometimes it really hurts… like right after I wake up. It's okay, though.

UP: Freckles?

T: Huh? Yeah… I have them… so?

UP: Okay. Not related to Handy and best friends with Cuddles?

T: Yes.

UP: Excellent. Oh! Here's one I forgot! Do you use your real name on the show?

T: Yeah. Actually, I think everyone does, which is really cool.

UP: Ah ha! Fascinating! Okay, next question; is there any romance in Toothy's life?

T: Personally? …I'm not at liberty to say.

UP: Oh come on…

T: Really, I'm not tellin'.

UP: Fine. Lastly, do you do all your own stunts?

T: Sure, but it's not as bad as it looks. They use a lot of CG, I think.

UP: Fantastic! Thank you so much for your time! There are cookies outside.

UP: To sum up, this has been my interview session with the full cast of HTF. Some revelations have been made, and I almost died, but all in all it was an enjoyable experience. Who am I? Well, that remains to be seen. Until next time, farewell!

(tape rolls in silence for a few seconds, then muffled voice)

Is it off?

(louder) Yeah, I think so, Skitchy.

_Finally_! Man, that was boring! I wish I wasn't so nervous and could've actually asked some _good_ questions! Darn it…

Oh shit, it's still on!

What?

(fumbling, then silence)


End file.
